Late Night Quotes of Randomness and Splendor
This is a collection of hilarious and obscure Late Night quotes. Perhaps this page will grant you some understanding into
the world of staying up late and laughing loudly. Enjoy the tapestry of magic.
The Quotes
"The name's Blades Firestormer. One eye's bigger than the other. Hey you, don't I know you? Yes, I'm Blades. Blades Firestormer!
You're weird." -Conan discussing a good stage name
"You've been eaten by something, Jimmy. What have you been eaten by?" -Conan when the crazy Halloween costume guy was on
"Jay says 'Stay tuned for Conan' and then Conan comes crashing through your TV set like a freight train bringin' the funny." -Conan
"Let's get nautical!" -Andy
"We're in Make-Believe Bay." -Andy
"This tunic smells just as bad as it did last year." -Andy on being the Christmas Elf
"We don't give out money, we depress, and we alienate. That's what we do, and we do it well." -Conan (one of my favorites. Wait, these are all my favorites.)
"They say prostitution is a victimless crime. Then where's my wallet? You got my wallet, bitch?" -Max with another helpful PSA
"Joel likey what Joel see-ee." -Joel while announcing the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
"I'm gonna take sweet cakes from you." -The Cupcake Cowboy
"We visited the Mylar forest." -Andy
"It makes my blue eyes pop and look irresistibly sexy." -Conan after someone commented on his blue tie
"I may be sleep deprived, but I know that sucked." -Conan after a portion of the NBC Olympic Coverage: What Went Wrong? sketch
"I am the Lavendar Jesus." -Andy discussing Conan's old college roommate
"We all want to tell you something! You suck!" -Triumph at Barbra Streisand's house
"Styrofoam Mountain!" -Andy
"NBC came out with a Celebrity Christmas CD... it says "All your favorite NBC stars"... where the hell am I?" -Conan
"T 1, Bee 0." -Mr. T while visiting the apple orchard with Conan
"Biblical scholars say that NBC stands for N-dorsed By Christ!" -Polly the NBC Peacock
"And you better make sure you only watch NBC, because watching the other networks gives you polio!" -Polly the NBC Peacock
"It's not just iced tea, it's iced tea 2000!" -Summertime Steve
"You mean I can put this on my lock and it won't scratch the locker?" -Conan discussing Jason Priestly's new online business
"There's dry ice in there! Constricting...air...passage..." -Conan during a Martha Stewart cooking segment
"It's the Marijuana Elf!" -Conan
"Conie angry." -Conan
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